The Speak Out Project – A spoken word.

Flawed Artistic Experiment – A spoken word.

I have a point to make about perfection. A point to make about the struggles I have had – about my ideas. My great, big ideas. Then it’s about my reflection. I am dissecting what it is telling me: lying to me. My ideas. Great, big ideas that have been tossed to the back of my mind, because I am too preoccupied with what I can see. I am too preoccupied with how I am perceived. I really want to succeed. I want the entire world to see me. 

And that is precisely the problem.  

When I am seen, there is the expectation that I should perform. There is the expectation that my ideas are irrelevant. That what I say is not as great of a distraction. The people want a distraction. The people want something like an… attraction? I have to attract, I must distract – from the thoughts of my mind. From its flaws, from its experimentative nature. From its battles; internal wars – because I want to be peaceful. Because I want to be liked. Because I want to be ‘perfect’. I want to be nice.

 Average, easier to manage.

I don’t want to be controversial. I don’t want to be a problem. I don’t want to have a story – to tell. I don’t want to be real. I want to be magical. I want to cast spells. 

But what if it’s not magical enough? What if the audience is not impressed? What ifI am not enough? What if I am not even impressed?

The truth is, perfection hurts, and so does impersonating it. 
The truth is, there is no such thing – a figment of our imaginations – we are chained to it. We have imprisoned ourselves in the world of being what we cannot be. Seeing things that we do not want to see, and changing, changing, changing – until we are alien. To ourselves.